It’s Still Triggering

It’s still triggering.

I can go days, even weeks, without relapsing.

Opening old wounds that I thought healed are hindering my recovery.

The images permanently etched in my mind.

Been let down by those I thought I could trust.

Terrified to sleep due to the haunting dreams.

Constantly looking over my shoulder out of fear of being attacked again.

Made silent by those who were to give a voice.

Fearing the paths I take that once were safe.

It’s still triggering.

There are nights I lay awake crying.

Feeling worthless and displaced.

Finding it even more difficult than before to love myself.

The shame and disgust still lingers.

That kind of skin isn’t that easy to shed as people think it is.

Every time I take two steps forward it seems like I’m forced to take ten steps back.

It’s still triggering.

Despite all the support, it doesn’t seem to be helping.

The demons are still lingering.

It appears that everything is fine upon the surface, yet the inner turmoil is just waiting to erupt.

I am questioning each passing moment that I’m still alive.

Wondering if there’s a point to prove with each passing breath.

It’s still triggering.

Yet, I’m blessed that I’m still around.