Neish
Bio
Hi! I’m Aneisha. I'm the author of the blog--We'll Talk About It! It releases every Tuesday. You can also find some short stories and poems I used to write, while you're waiting for the next blog post. <3
Instagram: @aneishabrackens
Stories (37/0)
Silent Boundaries... We'll Talk About It
I believe that we are entitled to boundaries, of course. I think you’re a pushover and you have constant stress if you don’t set any boundaries because you’re a people-pleaser. You all know I speak from experience when it comes to people-pleasing, so I get it. I know what it’s like to want to be liked by everyone, but also pretend like you don’t care. I didn’t do myself any favors by subjecting myself to an industry where it is absolutely necessary to be liked and with the fragility of our forgiveness for others these days– you have to make sure you’re staying liked. Sadly, that means you can’t have a bad day publicly and even if you’re not in the spotlight in this industry you can’t have a bad day around the wrong person. Hollywood and the industry itself is small, but we’re not here just to talk about that.
By Neish12 months ago in Motivation
Setting Goals... We'll Talk About It
Goal setting is something that we’re taught at an early age to do on the smallest scale, such as going a week without an infraction to get a reward on Fridays in grade school. I feel as though I’ve always been goal-oriented and kind of always knew what I wanted out of this life. Of course there were missing pieces that I wouldn’t have known until I kept living—which I’m filling in now. I remember being 15 and sending an email to the VP of sales, for a company I won’t name, detailing my goals and what age I wanted to hit them by. He was so impressed by this ambitious 15 year-old that he flew me and two of my relatives out to one of his red carpet events. It was surreal. He read my letter to thousands of people. Afterwards, audience members asked for my autograph and to take photos with me, he gifted me monetarily and he became my mentor. The relationship I had with him at such a forming age is still so special to me to this day. I remember him telling me, post-event, that it’s not okay to stop dreaming or making goals, but it is completely okay if those goals alter slightly or if YOU decide they’re not what you want. With him saying that, I was able to grant myself grace as an adult (currently)--not to where I slack off or get lazy with my ambitions, but to where I know my limits and I know when I can go harder. Most importantly, I know that as long as I’m working hard–it’s okay if it takes a little longer. You’ll miss the target a few times, but be proud that you’re headed in the right direction. Adjust your shot and try again, again, and again. You’ll get there. I owe a lot to this man just for taking a chance on me and giving me a taste of the life I’m still working towards now.
By Neishabout a year ago in Motivation
Mental Health... We'll Talk About It
Mental Health…let’s go. I’m not talking from a holier than thou perspective on this because I’m such a hypocrite. I am adamant about my family, friends, and strangers making their mental health a top priority to conduct to their best level—however that may look. I am pro-therapy, but I’ve only had a few sessions myself. That’s the hypocrisy. I haven’t indulged though because it’s costly, but I did recently get insurance (I know, I know) so I need to double-check, but I think it covers the majority of it. Check your insurance and see if mental health treatment is covered by it-- don't let the cost keep you away like it has done for me.
By Neishabout a year ago in Motivation
Religious Sexual Shame...We'll Talk About It
This post is not about me being ashamed of my faith, but how my faith contributed to my sexual awareness and my comfort (or lack thereof) with sex. Just for context, I grew up Southern Baptist and then converted to Church of Christ which is more non-denominational and it consists solely of teaching from the Bible. Anyways. It’s not anyone’s business per se, but I have an incredibly low-body count—I’m not saying that to be a “pick-me” or cater to a man’s idea of how a woman should be, I’m just being vulnerable so I can discuss why. I could’ve been the 4th member of the Jonas Brothers, lol. I had a purity ring and everything. So when I chose to not continue that journey, I was like in my early 20’s (I’m only 25 now). So doing this was really heavy for me and I suffered a lot of shame from it. I thought God was mad at me and I kind of went into a deep depression. I tried to justify it to myself because I thought this was the man I was going to marry (that didn’t help). Fast-forward, very single lol. I only say all this background stuff because I am very body positive and love people who celebrate their bodies how they see fit, by wearing what they’d like and doing what they’d like–I’m very open about that. So I think some people are confused when I’m not as sexually liberated. I just don’t flow as freely as some of my peers do because any time I’ve stepped into that realm with someone that isn’t my “forever”–it’s triggered so much shame in me and kind of ruined the experience. I think that shame has derived from my faith and the way I was taught to conduct myself from religious teachings.
By Neishabout a year ago in Motivation
Boundaries...We'll Talk About It
Creating boundaries is easier (not easy) if you’re not a people-pleaser. Being a people-pleaser makes you worried that creating boundaries that are helpful to you may hurt or bother someone else, so you dismiss your own needs to satisfy others. It’s not fair and you’re the only one neglected in the end. Boundaries look different for everyone because everyone has different triggers.
By Neishabout a year ago in Motivation
Money...We'll Talk About It
Money, money, money. I think young people have this idea that we have to have it all together so soon or we’re unsuccessful. Usually, “success” is based on your income. Obviously, with this economic climate–financial stability can be difficult to get and maintain. I wish I had multiple tips that could guarantee you financial freedom, but I don’t. I do, however, have a couple that can help lessen the burden—keep reading and I’ll let you in on a few.
By Neishabout a year ago in Motivation
Logging Off...We'll Talk About It
Sometimes, we need to detach from the internet and social media. I would say just don’t check it, but usually we have a habit of browsing certain apps—even if we’re bored of them, we just do it. It’s so odd. I think we know we could be doing something more “productive”, but at the same time we’ve been working/studying so hard that we think we’ve also earned the right to be lazy at this moment (we probably have). My only battle with this is, taking in so much content continuously can mess with us subconsciously or even disrupt our moods unknowingly.
By Neishabout a year ago in Motivation
Apologizing... We'll Talk About It
I’m not stating that saying “sorry” tastes like vinegar down my throat, but it does make me feel uncomfortable sometimes. Even if I love the person and value whatever our relationship (romantic, friendly, familia, or etc.) is. Mostly because I worry about the aftermath. I think most of us feel this way because we already feel guilty about whatever led up to this and then when you apologize you’ve probably been around people who made you feel ashamed. Being shamed on top of your guilt? It’s heavy.
By Neishabout a year ago in Motivation
Valuing Friendships... We'll Talk About It
We all love our friends or else they wouldn’t be our friends, right? They’re the family we choose. Each friend heals/helps/hypes a part of us that maybe another can’t in the same way. We’re not talking about the dynamics of friendship today though, but more so on how to value them a little more by showing up. Maybe because we’ve put it on autopilot. I know I’ve done it a few times.
By Neishabout a year ago in Motivation
Grief...We'll Talk About It
Grief. We might as well start off strong, right? Grief is one of the most ugly processes you’ll endure and anyone who tells you differently is romanticizing it. The only thing beautiful associated with grief is your heart—the fact that you cared that deeply about someone/something and the loss of them moved you. I personally think there are levels of grief. You’re not going to grieve the loss of a job (that you hated) the same way you grieve your grandmother passing. I have one rule about grieving losses that aren’t death related and it’s: 1) Never let the hurt be longer than the embrace. I feel this way mostly about bad friendships, crappy relationships, or losing a job. If you had a crappy relationship that lasted 1 year, I don’t think you should grieve it longer than 1 year. Yes, you’ll miss them from time to time, but the screaming-crying-throwing up phase should be done. Those are the only 3 things I think I put a limit for grief on.
By Neishabout a year ago in Motivation
We'll Talk About It...Introduction
I know what you’re thinking—”Why do we need another blog from another random woman?” I get it, I get it. I’m not saying subscribe to my work because I’m this omniscient being who is going to tell you amazing tips on how to get super rich, apply your concealer perfectly, or DIY your kitchen cabinet…because I don’t know how. I think more people need to admit that. I don’t know how to do a lot of things and I think that’s what this blog will be about. It’ll be me admitting fault and failure in the most honest way I can with what I learned in the process. Hopefully, those who choose to read are trying to figure out some things as well. If anything, let this writing serve as a comfort read.
By Neishabout a year ago in Motivation