Twas Not I

Who dare to steal my tarts?!

Those delicious treats so close to my heart.

Fruity strawberry jam in a pastry bed.

Speak up now or off with your head.

Twas not I who ate your tarts.

I mean stole those delicous treats so close to your heart.

These crumbs on my lips are bread.

I'd like very much so to keep my head.

Who pushed me off this wall?

The height creates quite a fall.

I am but a little egg, delicate and weak.

The king's men will see how my yolk does leak.

Twas not I who pushed you off that wall.

I mean caused your delicate and weak self to fall.

My handprints will not match.

I am the wrong person for the king's men to catch.

Who left this cradle in a tree?

You could hurt this tiny baby.

If the wind blew and it started rocking.

The results would be more than shocking.

Twas not I who placed the child upon the bough.

I mean I would never do anything so foul.

This ladder is to check the wind's direction.

I was merley trying to apprieicate the sun's affection.

Who let these sheep wander around free?

They will be slaughtered for the farmer's tea.

Their tails hung up like trophies.

And their fleeces no longer fluffy and snowy.

Twas not I who let these animals roam.

I mean I do not know where they call home.

It would be easier if they were all dead.

That is what the girl with the crook said.