The External Lament

I think you should know that I am broken.

Just bits and pieces of holding on to things that bring nothing but sorrow to my doorstep.

And then there's you...

Young one who thinks he's got it all figured out...let go of the past...it's not worth it you say to me over and over again like a mantra.

My muse.

Draw a thousand poems from my pen and I love that about you. But...

I think you should know that I am broken.

There are days where the pits of my stomach cave inward and my heart feels like it has stopped beating right in my chest.

Days where darkness is my only refuge and the only sun I get to see rise is non existent.

Days where my mental isn't right and it affects my physical , days where I wonder if I'll ever know what is the right thing to do.

I think you should know that I am broken.

Only thing left I have for you here are these words. Strung together by my faith in logic.

Logic that tells me "move on stupid girl" "these boys, they don't value your heart. keep going."

Here.

I wrote you this.

Words that give you promise of a dim horizon. you might just win my love but maybe not. Because...

I think you should know that I am broken.

Love stolen from me, ripped from me by hands attached to demons.

Footprints on my heart from bandits who did not know the worth of something as powerful as this. stains...on my soul from dirty hands...I thought were clean but was blinded and...

I think you should know that I am broken. Lottery tickets are drawn when I show interest in you because you could be one of the lucky ones...but maybe not