Stale Rice Cakes and Oatmeal

On the anniversary of what would have been seven years i wish him all the unpleasantries of life.

I wish him endless traffic, stopping at EVERY red light.

I wish him soda without carbonation.

I wish him itchy sweaters, and shoes that are just slightly too big so they rub up against the back of his foot.

I wish for him to put on a clean pair of socks after a great night's sleep and then to step in an unknown wet substance. Preferably dog piss. I wish this for every other morning.

I wish him one day off a week that is cold and it hails, so every time he steps outside hail smacks him in the head.

I wish him endless dishes in the sink and endless laundry that smells slightly of mildew.

I wish that he would accidentally put his name on every telemarketer's call list.

I wish him stale rice cakes and oatmeal.

I wish that he would FINALLY get cable only to have the slowest internet connection on this side of the world.

I wish for him to be one minute late to everything, but only a minute because I'm not as bitchy as I seem.

I wish him endless medicine commercials at the times when he REALLY wants to watch his favorite shows.

I wish him socks that slip and crushed bread and unsweetened tea and long grocery store lines.

I wish for him to always be a penny short on everything that he buys so that he has to run out to the car for one PENNY.

On the anniversary of what would have been seven years i wish him all of these unpleasantries.

I wish for him to have the most unpleasant life because that's what i had with him.

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