Late 20s

Broke in my window and lit a match.

The only place I felt safe. I burnt down my house.

Cleared out space, sorted through the thoughts in my head.

Found all the drowning demons and placed them under my bed.

Used poison for medicine.

But then my medicine turned to poison.

Why fix what ain't broke.

Just take more of both.

They tell me I live my life like I'm destructive.

If getting better hurts this much then in no time I should be fixed.

I felt the urge again

To peel off all my skin.

Started to But then.

Realized I'd have nothing to hide my sins.

Opened myself up and crawled back in.

1, 3, 5 shots in.

And I was doing oh so very well before this.

And hot damn I promise next time I'll try harder and I will.

But goddamn it felt good to give in to a feeling again but still,

I'm not damned but it's hard to tell which feeling is real which one's fake, which one to kill.