Grey

The world must look so different through the eyes of someone who doesn't fear the unknown

...A sight I'll never know

It must be clear, with defiant opportunity to cease the day

...One in which I choose to lay

I do so because it's comforting to not be afraid of what is coming my way

...Something you're accustomed to

But me and millions of others

Can't display

We wake up every morning that we have something sociable planned and panic without dismay

We shut out the world whenever we can, because it's the only way we feel okay

We lose out on achievements and goals because the anxiety never stays at bay

It's always a tsunami of wretched uncertainty leading us through each day

I want to do this and that but my nervous tension will always have its way

I need to make more money but behind the scenes jobs don't make as much pay

So I push myself to stop screaming inside, yet it's always so loud and never dies away

Louder and louder

I'm physically screaming now

Tears dripping down my face

One slight look of judgement

And I'm back to the replays

Over and over in my head

Little to no leeway

I just want to go a day without

Feeling like everyone looks at me as prey

But the vultures must eat to nourish

Even if their prey is already astray

This monstrosity takes the beauty out of the little things

For what does it convey?

A bloody ounce of nothingness

To that I can relate

There's no sense for any of this

But there's no expiration date

I have to spend my life like this

How does one carry this weight?

We pop pills the doctors give us

Like that's gonna cure this trait

But they make us numb and ignorant to what really is our fate

So we pretend like we don't need the drugs to sedate this beastly grey

It's so cloudy now I can't see No clarity around me Please help me I'm drowning In my tears sea No one understands me I can't think Then I can't stop

Oh my god

Please turn it off Please turn it off

TURN IT OFF!

———————

It's off.