Day 2.2

Are you going

to listen

to reason?

Or are you going to

continue living in

a fantasy world

without logic or

reasoning? It seems

like you are only choosing the latter

because you don't

want to face the reality of things.

I overthink, and as

I overthink, I become

flustered. Now that I have

become flustered, I

am now stressing out.

I then stay stressed out

long after I have no

reason anymore to be

in that mindset.

This will cause a cycle

of becoming more

flustered and more

stressed out. Try as

I might, I am unable

to relax. In

fact, trying to relax

makes the stress worse.

So I sit and get anxiety

when I am not stressed out

about when I might get

stressed out again.

Yet, I won't know

what I would do

if I was not like this.

It would be a strange

day indeed when that

happens.

I wanted life;

I'm sitting here contemplating.

I decide.

I used to want life.

Now I feel I have

lived long enough,

even if it was a

fraction of what I could have lived.

Death will be near

but not anytime soon.

I'm not ready yet,

at the same time,

I am. Does it

make me weak

or am I just

too far gone?