Box in the Sea

Put yourself in a box

You are no longer you

Listen to her commands

Don’t think you can do what you want to

Don’t piss her off

It’ll ruin more than just her mood

Keep your love, she’s your rock

That is attached to the box when she throws it in the water so blue

She loves you! She loves you!

No body can save me now

I’m drowning at the bottom

Wasn’t even searching for safety

Because she was attached to my problems

Don’t be too sad though

Then she’ll really have a problem

Suffocate in your mind but don’t voice it to her

Ponder on if this is how love is supposed to be

But never ever come clean

You can’t lose her

You can’t let your weakness be seen

Silly you

Silly you

That’s exactly what she uses to manipulate you sweetie

Mental insanity it feels like she hit me

No bruises no marks

We used to laugh and say our lives were bruised from the start

But the way you left me when I left you

I still have battle scars

That’s what happens when you open up deep down in the oceans arms

You float up from the darkness that creeped with glowing dwellers

Golden creatures torture your souls keeper as you make your way to clear waters

The life is different here but you still can’t breathe under all the pressure

Still think of her, you start to think you have an obsession

Maybe I should have kept the box closed that way I’d have her forever

Never let yourself go so she can love you so much better

Maybe I am in the wrong, maybe it has to deal with my stormy weather

How it always came in waves because I didn’t know I was bipolar

It’s my fault oh god should I dive down deep and console her

Sorry for being me is what I would have told her

No no keep swimming

Up not down, you may love her

But the toxicity was always screaming you can never control her

Her anger would always make you want to end

Your sadness would never be worthy enough to her and her friends

Swim up!

Listen!

PLEASE listen!

Don’t get caught up

In evol love’s trap just because you miss them!

I kept swimming towards the light

It took time but my lungs needed air

Pulsing hard I used all my might

My first real love wasn’t fair

Remember the dark times

The person you were with is no longer there

In fact they’re better without out you

No!no! Don’t compare

Keep swimming before your lungs give out

I know it hurts but you need you now

Big strokes large kicks

Almost to the top somehow!

One last big hope

IM BREATHING AIR IN CROWDS

HUFF AND PUFF AND SMILE AND TRUST

I MADE IT, I DID IT

I NO LONGER FEEL GUILTY WHEN I THINK OF US

THERE IS NO HOPE LEFT AND IM SETTLED WITH SUCH

I AM MY OWN MESS AND THAT IS ENOUGH

I look up at the sun

Sunshine is what I called you once

I feel nothing at the remembrance of our love

It seems insane that it ever was

You were not the sun I want

You were the one that sunk my thoughts

You were just a lesson I needed taught

The real sun has always shined

Never has it thrown me in the darkness and left me blind

It always rises

And it always will

I am the sun

Until my heart beats still

I will rise

I will fall

I will create beautiful sunsets for you all

You never deserved this me

Now I know why we are history

Thank you for teaching me

I’ll stop reaching for you now

I now shine so easily

All without you,

Wow.