An Ocean

your eyes remind me too much of the

storm of a boy I used to love. and not

because I still love him, but because his

waves dismantled and destroyed the

ship that was me.

you ask me why I'm scared and I can't

put into words that people have cupped

my heart in their hands and dropped it

one too many times that I think there's

still pieces swept under the rug in the

living room.

you take my hand in your hand and

caress my thumb and tell me it's not

me it's them. the people that walked

away is not because I have sad days

and want to talk about everything it's

because they weren't ready for my

ocean.

you ask me why I'm so afraid of love and

it's not love that I'm afraid of. I've felt

love and it's a blooming field of flowers

and sunshine. what terrifies me to the

bone is not receiving any flowers

from that field.