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You're Gone, but You're Always Here

The Calm After the Suicide

By hallie junePublished 5 years ago 1 min read
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How do you say goodbye to someone who deserves to be alive?

They turned tables on themself. They felt no one was there.

How do you just say goodbye?

They seem ok when you had that unkown final conversation. They laugh. They smile. They hug you.

Then the next day you get that call. The one that knocks you off your feet until you're falling.

Falling.

Falling.

For what seems like forever.

You think "No this can't be true. Why would you lie about this."

But it's true. And everything freezes in your mind. You are so frozen you don't notice the cops, the questions, the crying, the doctors and nurses. The final answer of "Theres nothing more we can do, I'm sorry."

All you can feel is numb.

Your mind starts asking the questions.

"What happened?"

"Why?"

Then you start getting angry with yourself.

"I could have helped."

"I could have stopped this."

You are full of regret, full of questions, you just don't understand anything anymore.

You want to scream and cry and yell at them for leaving you here.

You want to hit them and bring them back at the same time.

Then comes the peace.

You know whatever was hurting them can't touch them anymore.

You read their note and it brings about so many more questions; until you hit a part that just calms the storm in your heart.

"Just know I'm free now."

And I am free with you.

Missing you and the memory you left behind won't stop.

All of the lives you've touched will never forget you.

The smile that lit up a room will never leave our minds.

Your pictures, we continue to live in those moments.

You saved so many of us, mentally and physically.

Those wonderful people you saved with your organs, you live through them.

Giving up your life hit us hard, but because of you another mother has her daughter, another mother lives to see her children grow up, another man is alive with your beating heart, and the list goes on.

Missing you up in the big blue sky.

Missing you always.

sad poetry
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