Yellow

I associate him with the color yellow.

He’s my yellow smiley face bumper sticker, the flowers in my hair, a rubber duck floating in my bathtub. Yellow is the color of happiness and that’s what he is, the reason for my laugh and my smile.

Yellow is also the color of the prescription bottle that holds my escape from the depression and anxiety

Bits of yellow lay across my back porch from all the cigarettes inhaled to forget his smell.

So while yellow is the color of happiness, it’s also the color of a toxic love that will soon kill me. He is my yellow.