Why Jesus?

The conversation that lurks in the background of our relationship.

It’s not as if you’ve blindsided me, I’ve known.

But just as you’ve held on to hope that I’ll come to believe /

What’s the use of using such a fluffy word,

When what you really want is for me to

C (hange myself)

O

N

V

E

R

T

\ I’ve held on to hope that you’d believe

That I am enough.

Just the way I am now.

I’ve opened the doors, flung open the windows

Of myself, of my mind.

I am open to learning, and growing, and changing,

But not as a prerequisite to being

WORTHY

Of a life with you.

You have remained shut, locked, closed

To the possibility of accepting me

As I am.

You say God is Love.

I say Love is God.

Is Love not what we have together?

Is Love not what we make?

Is love not what we share?

Are we not already with God?

How could it be that Love is what is what will stand in the way of

Love?

You say no person can reach their full potential without Jesus.

(This is your belief)

But who are you to say, to know, what anyone else’s potential may be?

(This is my belief)

I do not understand

The words you use to explain your beliefs.

Your explanations sound like words from a textbook,

They do not sound like you.

I believe I will never reach my full potential

I would hate to ever reach my potential

I hope to God, yes to God, that I never reach my full potential.

For I long to learn forever,

To listen to those I do not understand,

Listen to those I do not agree with, those whose beliefs are foreign to me,

To listen, with an open heart, and an open mind.

Your religion preaches Love to all people.

But to me, love requires an open heart.

I need to hear it from you.

Tell me, Why Jesus?

You and I have said from the start that we are not the same person.

We are not one, but two, and that is beautiful.

That we are able to remain separate, and unique

And yet share a love that allows us to flow in harmony

With one another.

Giving, sharing, loving, knowing, growing

Together

But

Individual.

I fear I will never be the woman you want me to be.

And that will mean that it is time for me to

Leave.

Leave you, leave us, leave the future I see as ours.

Leave it to a woman who knows how to love Jesus

As much as I know how to

Love You.