Why Did I

The Beautiful Mess of who I am

Why did my life end up this way

Why did so many things fail

Why did I worry about the stupid things why did I find a never-ending battle why did I stay for so long

Why did I think things would change why did I hope for a better ending

Why did I think that things would be different

Why didn't I have the strength to leave why didn't I have the strength to fight why did I think that I could change it why didn't he worry about me leaving why didn't he notice that I was gone

Why didn't he care that he lost me

Why did he let me go

Why did he fight but in all the wrong ways

Why didn't we try harder and stronger

Did I do the right thing by leaving

Did I do the right thing I needed for my family

The answer is yes I did I can say my family is getting better without him without living in fear the fear of getting hit the fear of the voice telling us that we will never be good enough

The answer is yes and I'm almost free of him my kids are almost free of him granted you are still their dad but we are finally free of you no more dictating

Our Lives you get them twice a week no more hiding in the closet afraid of what you're going to do

That smile on my face is something that has been long gone and I can finally say that I finally feel free free from you and your unkind hand of your unkind words and of your judgemental love