Why and Why Do I Keep Asking Myself Why?
Why?
Why
Why do I think so much?
Why can't I ever stop worrying?
My mind is slowly sinking
It gets darker and darker everyday.
Why am I here?
Why am I alive?
What is my purpose?
Does anyone even think about me?
I am mentally and emotionally tired
My body is weak and I am not able to make it strong again
My bones are breaking
My stomach is trembling
And my heart is beating too fast.
I want this to stop.
I need to be patient.
I need to relax.
I need to be calm.
I need to breathe.
I am suffocating.
I am choking.
I am drowning.
I am dying.
As each day comes,
I wonder if I am really alive
or if I am pretending to be for everyone else.
Hope is fading away
My strength is getting lost
And my thoughts get louder and louder.
I don't know what to do.
Is there a cure?
Should I be high all the time to stop me from feeling low?
Should I drink to help me forget what I don't want to remember?
Or should I just let myself fall?
People think they understand you
But they don't.
People say they care about you
But they don't show it enough.
You wonder if you're too good of a person
You wonder if people deserve you
You wonder if you're better off not here and disappearing into thin air.
But you would hurt people
You would scare them.
They will cry, won't they?
You think they will
If they loved you.
What if they don't?
What if they are better off without you?
What if you're better off not being here?
Maybe that is what they want.
For you to be gone...
Words hurt
Actions hurt
And some people don't realize the harm they are causing.
They are blinded from their own mind and beliefs.
They think they are right
And make you think that you are wrong.
No one will ever understand how you truly feel.
What do I do?
Do I stop?
Or do I keep going?
What if I can't keep going?
What if I want to leave and be free?
Free from worrying
Free from thinking
Free from hurting
Free from negativity
And free from me.
About the Creator
Alicia Del Re
I am a fourth year English student who wants to pursue a career in Journalism. I love reading and writing because it allows me to escape reality and enter another world inside my mind.
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