Poets logo

Who Am I?

A Poem Written in the Depths of Confusion and Pain

By Just-Jay.Published 6 years ago 2 min read
Like
Photo Was Taken by Jay in 2017

Who I am is a question they ask…I do always question is their brain up to the task…the task of understanding which side is true?then again is my brain ever even sure what to do?

Some days I am Jayd others I’m Jay...the things they say always affect me in some way…their judgment I always said didn’t matter at all…but now their words make me feel so very small…

They don’t understand how my gender can changefrom day, week, or month it changes they see it as strange.I have become more me over the years…But that has just confirmed my mother’s worst fears…

she fears I am odd, a mistake and all wrong...she never understands the words of the song…the songs bands release to help people to know…that it’s okay to be different and okay to let go…

okay to let go of the things people say…okay to let go of their actions each day…okay to ignore them and be true to you…so that’s what I’m always going to do…

when people ask, I always question their motive...why do I say the answer knowing it’s emotive...knowing that they will act in that way…should it affect the words that I say…

Sometimes I’m Jayd others I’m Jay...who I am definitely changes each day…I’m not sure how to feel about how they act…I shouldn’t care what they say and that is a fact!

A fact that to me will always ring true.but I know it affects everything that I do…the way that they see me… the way they reactDefines each day with my identity cracked…

Cracked and broken… but still holding up…holding together to stop them seeing close-up...close-up I bad, and feels even worse…like singing a song and missing a verse.

The missing verse always plays on my mind…should I accept this way… only to bind?to bind my feelings and a true sense of self?to do so will it leave me alone on the shelf?

alone to see no way to be free…without freedom can I ever be me?the true me I know is hiding deep inside…is it right that this me feels they always must hide?

hide to escape their actions and wordsthen watch them fly as free as the birds?destined to always remain groundednot knowing the way and always feeling hounded…

social commentary
Like

About the Creator

Just-Jay.

My name is Jay.

Transgender neurodiverse human Creative weirdo.

- Pronouns: He/Him.- Pagan- Vegie- Poly & Pan - obsessed with foxes.- Amature photographer and writer- Depression and Anxiety & Fibro warrior.

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.