Where I’m From

I am from bruises,

From cigarettes and “just one more’s.

I am from late nights and loud fights;

Screaming, swearing and the sound of slamming doors.

I am from the bottom bunk,

And hiding under my bed

Away from all the dirty words mommy and daddy said.

I am from rotting floors and caved in roofs,

From hand-me-downs and torn up shoes.

I’m from never ending negatives and constant lies.

From young independence,

From a family who just wanted to get high.

I am from a man whom I don’t know.

“The Bastard Child” is how my name use to go.

I am from being blamed for others pasts,

For “taking away” my half sisters dad.

I’m from raising myself,

And my parents as well,

Because they never learned to grow up

Or how to help the youngest child.

I’m from watching my family be screamed at and beat.

And experiencing it myself if I tried to intervene.

I’m from sisters who hated me and hit me if I cried.

I’m from living with anxiety since the mere age of five.

I am from constant blame for others pains,

Fighting the same tiring battle every day.

I’m from forgotten birthdays,

From never fitting in.

From promising I’d rather die than end up like them.

In a family full of addicts,

It always becomes your fault.

You’re not one of them,

So that means you don’t belong.

But do not give in,

They want you to be like them.

They want you to be worse,

So they can feel better about doing it again.

Be brave, be strong,

And be aware it’s not for long.

Be mindful of the hell they put you through,

So you never end up treating someone like they do you.

Grow from it, learn,

do not let it seduce you.

Remember that you are strong,

And have a brighter future ahead of you.

Believe me,

Addicts are one thing you do not want to get use to.