Where'd You Go?

Why do I feel so fucking sick, why do I hate myself so much. I miss myself before the pain, I use to dance in the rain but now I'm drowning in it. I feel defeated, mislead. I want to cut til I'm dead. Help me please I'm on my knees begging on the ground, you just can't hear a sound. I'm stuck. No one gives a fuck. Every day is the same shade of gray and my soul pays. It's not that easy to move on in life believe me, my heart is breaking and I'm shaking as I write this. I want to let you all know my soul needs to go be free because I am not me, I am pain and insane. I need help but no one hears the cries they just believe what they see with their eyes. I'm broken down, seems like no ones around to see that I'm barely breathing, misreading. My words are true and I need you but where are you? You told me to go get help then you yell and I'm always to blame, I feel the shame. No one can love me I'm a piece of shit and you will all see when my body hits the ground from that parking garage. I'll jump in the wind and pay for my sins. Will I ever be ok? Or should I put red in the gray so they will see what they did to me and my heart is a bittersweet symphony. Right now I don't know why I pushed through the pain, I'm losing hope. Now you all I know why I drank to cope, no one can handle me so I'd drink a handle then be numb and succumb to my pain, lines straight to the brain tamed my thoughts but now my thoughts are all I got.