When Will You Know?

You lay in bed, feeling the cool sheets against your skin.

You feel the darkness envelope around you as you lay silent.

Not the visual darkness, the physical darkness.

The physical darkness that makes you wonder, wonder when you'll know.

When you'll know you've found the one.

When you'll know you're doing the right thing for yourself.

When you'll know you're truly doing things for yourself, not for them.

When you'll know that any of this pain is worth any of it.

When you'll know that the hard work paid off.

When you'll know that letting them go was the best thing for you, for them.

You lay there, allowing the tears to flow. It takes no effort at all because you're so exhausted from all of it that the tears just flow because its the only relief you find.

You feel yourself shaking from the thoughts that eat you alive.

Day in and day out, you just want to know when its gonna get better.

"Why are you doing this to me?" You ask silently as you stare at the ceiling, letting the pain eat at you.

Who are you asking? God? The universe? Do you know anymore? Do you know what you believe? You don't even know what you want to do with your life, or what you're doing. How can you even decide what you believe in anymore?

When will you know that you've made it to the end of the tunnel? Does the light even exist?

What is the light supposed to be? Is it subjective? Is it the love you've been waiting for? Is it the success you've struggled so hard to reach? Is it happiness? Is it something completely different?

When will you know?