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When I Read My Abuser Made a Suicide Attempt 

Your life almost ended today, and part of me wishes I could be writing your eulogy.

By Cassandra RosePublished 6 years ago 1 min read
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Tattoo Flash by Johnny Gloom

three years ago you thought i should die because i was mentally sick and

it was my fault, no one would love

a worthless piece of garbage like me

three years later i realized

you used me as a crutch

to hide how you felt

about yourself

i was browsing through social media

art

music

things that give me a reason

for healing and growing

a mutual friend posted a video

of himself with you

on the NYC subway

peace signs thrown up

you both were smiling

it was captioned

“please send some love to _____,

he’s in the hospital after

almost ODing, _____ is one of my best friends

and he’s fighting the demons

right now”

i don’t wish such a tragedy upon anyone but

you

you

you

you might be

the exception

they say karma is a bitch

but fuck it,

karma is a cunt if you play your cards right

i messaged our mutual friend

“what did he OD on”

“i don’t know, he tried to take his own life”

“wow”

time was irrelevant when i was with you

my life revolved around you

if i wasn’t at your beck and call

i was wrong

if i talked to anyone else besides you

i was wrong

if i tried to tell you that you were fucked up

i was wrong

when i tried to leave because

i was scared

when i slit my wrist multiple times

in front of you

because of you

when i had to take care of you

while sacrificing my soul

when i told you how

I dance with

my demons

i

was

so

fucking

wrong

your life almost ended today

and part of me wishes i could be

writing your eulogy

i have no emotion towards something

that would normally set my heart on fire

and make me extend my

“wishes and prayers for a speedy recovery!!”

i wrote my first poem in months yesterday

about healing

about growing

you crossed my mind the other day

when i was asked to do something

that used to hold so much joy for me

that you destroyed

my heart was racing when i read that

you wanted to die

because now maybe we can

finally agree on something

you’re a worthless

piece of shit

sad poetry
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About the Creator

Cassandra Rose

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