When I Am Gone

What will you think, when you're told I am gone.

Gone from this life for the rest of yours

Will you regret all the bad things that you said

Will you look to the sky and tell me why

Will you look through all the photos of us

Will you smell my scent around and wish you had made a fuss.

Will you wish the days back to tell me that you care

Now it's to late, you have all the time now I'm up in the air.

Will you constantly rewind and keep playing things back

Our favourite movies and our words memories, favourite tracks

Too late to think you wish that you could have it back, too late now to moan.

Will you remember when I stayed up all night

Nursing you, laying right by your side

Will you think of all the comforting things I did and said

When you thought your world was over, I put you in good stead

Do you think you will remember the times when I took you to your clubs

Dedicated everyday not to me but to you instead

When you fell and hurt your knees, when you had nightmares and was scared

Will you remember me, I was always there to comfort and make you see, hold you tight, make you safe so your little heart slowed its pace.

Watching all your plays and shows, everything you did I was there you know

The proudest mum to walk this earth, watching you filled my heart, made it glow.

Made sure you were happily fed, had your milk, breakfast, lunch, tea and supper

Wouldn't eat sometimes myself you were more important, it was worth the sacrifice, I'd have a cuppa.

All your tests, homework, exams, right beside you calming you down

Revising along with you, so you didn't fail, did it all for you to make it all count.

All our little holidays just with me your mum, the fishing, disco swimming all good fun

Down to the beach exploring the rocks, out in the sea, play games till we were done.

Will you think of all the memories I hold

Or have they all gone now, all just dissolved.

What will you think when you see me no more

When you finally realise and accept I'll never walk through that door.

Will you regret all the horrible things you said,

When you made me cry so hard,, that I had to go to bed.

When you look back at your behaviour

Will you remember truly who really did save you.

Do you think you made a fool out of me

The lies, the moods, the cheek, the disrespecting me, don't you now see

When all I did from the womb is look after you, keep you warm and safe and give you a place in my heart,

And so many times you'd start, hurt me so much, really felt as if you were breaking my heart

All of your life, never left your side, you deserted me, called me names made me sad. I always erased it gave everything a new start.

Not one day has past since you have been born, that everything in my life wasn't about you.

I lived and breathed you every day of my life, with a love so devoted, you were my soul, if only you really knew

Always taught you that there's no such word as can't, you remember? you believe in you. you can do anything!!.

Always have a dream, fight and never quit, believe in the gift you've been given and never let it go.

Was your teacher of life and I always have tried advising what was to me the best I could

Never tried to play it down, you needed to know to pass all the tests.

Always taught you never to hate, treat people how you would like to be treated yourself

Try to be careful of all the bad things, stay away from the drugs look after your health.

So much I could say, I could keep writing on and on, will you now say when your reading this "please mum write on"?

Well there has to be a stop, nothing carries on in this lifetime, maybe different now in the sky

I hope that I brought good things to your life, that in a crowd , if you saw me you would be so proud.

I hope I taught you to live truthfully, with love and compassion, stand tall to all the tests, try your very best.

Always remain strong, believe in yourself and always carry on. Never give up, make your mum so proud.

I'll always be with you, you can always lean on me, even if you cannot see me

I'm there, all around. Look for the white feathers scattered around on the ground. It's me

I'll watch you wake and go to sleep I'll wipe your tears, try sooth your fears, I am not very far away. Until I see you again one day.

I will love and cherish every second spent with you. You were so very special, every last part of you.