What's Left of Me

Here I am..what is left of me

trying so hard to hold on and not flee

grasping and pulling into the air

searching and crying for things not there

Thoughts and visions of

light and dark

Worry and wonder

a life full of strife

Time moving shifting thru space

a world full of people and nothing but hate

The pain and misery I want not to share

But holding it in I feel a slight tear

Forming inside me trying to get free

Changing and threatening what I thought I knew

Me

Who am I now

What am I becoming

The horror racks me again

feel like running

Away

To where I know not

Twisting and churning heart beating so fast

What am I looking for

while dodging the past

A future so bright a flash of white light

Hearing the blood rushing in my head

can't help but wonder if the future is dead

Dread dread as my pulse moves my temples

How am I a good example

The one who is falling apart day by day

Letting those around me think

I am ok

I do not want to hurt like this

Or show the rage that does exist

To be this scared one should not be

to be this angry how unfair of me

Grief...lost....Frustration...despair...

Anger....resentment...Rage....violence

Anguish...torture..

Guilt....

all of this inside of me

welling up growing

I just want to be free....