What I Would Tell You If I Could

I would tell you that I don’t want regrets,

That I’m only doing this to save myself,

From the regrets.

I would tell you how much

I’ve liked you,

How all the words you’ve ever said still lingers so much

In the back of my mind,

Where everything I did was better

With the thought of you on my mind.

Your face is burned permanently

In my memories, from every angle, from every light,

From every place we’ve ever been, permanently.

I would tell you how wonderful you really are,

From your chivalry to your humor to your humility to your kindness,

I just love the way you are.

But don’t worry, I’ll let you in on your flaws too

From your awkward stature to your shy glances to your indecisiveness to your kindness,

But the actual awkward thing is that I love all that too.

There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to hear your stories of random this and that,

How they come in bursts of energy all at once

I wish I’d told you my stories like that.

Instead,

I would tell you what I couldn’t a year and a half ago

I would tell you all these things and so much more

I would tell you it’s only for the regrets

I would tell you that I had wanted so much more, like, a few months ago.

The only thing I wouldn’t tell you is how

I hope you’re writing about me too.