What I See, You Don't See!

You see him as someone who cares,

You see someone who would try to help who they could,

You see someone that will have your back, never judge or put you down,

I have seen all this and more.

I see someone who cares and will let you know he is the only one who cares for you,

I see someone who has helped me and let me know he is the only one who would ever help me,

I see someone who says they will always have my back and remind me that no one else ever will,

I see someone who will never judge or put me down but will bring up how I have been judged and how my family put me down.

I have lived this life of lies with many cries for 16 years to be exact,

Knowing I will never get these years back,

How do I get out, why is it so hard?

Please guide me Lord!