Western Blue

The day is western blue, and autumn crisp

and so still

that sitting quietly, I can feel the earth turning.

I think of where you are,

wonder what you are doing.

I hear my heart cracking

as the ache of missing you

pushes through me.

Everything within me,

itches for your presence.

All that I am,

weeps with loneliness,

screams with frustration,

at your absence.

At my age, I should know

all the feelings that there are to feel.

I shouldn't be surprised by any of this.

But over and over,

the strength of it shakes me.

I'm increasingly thrown off balance

by your smile, awakened by your voice.

Overcome at the touch of your hands

stroking my face

as your kiss consumes me.

It's no wonder that anxiety pokes at me.

Fear is never far behind significance.

And I am holding onto the wind.

Grasping to catch what isn't, never could be,

never really was mine to have.