Waters of the Mind

This ship was never meant to man alone, but yet I do so.

Always have, always will.

every sailor, every friend, Once we boarded a dock It was a rare sight to have ever seen them return for, if, I had not just left them yet.

either this burden of a ship was too large for them to handle or I was afraid of becoming the burden.

Even on the calmest days My sails I struggle to keep the sails aligned even with those who were by my side.

Though, the raging storms I have always faced alone.

Drowning me in it's waters.

Tangling me in the rigging to where I am powerless.

My guilt. My fears. My love. My life all flash past me.

My head is pounding.

My breathing quickens.

My breaths shorten.

I become light headed and my surroundings start to blur and darken.

The water in my lungs cause a panic,

As I battle the waves that crash into my face I find no time for air.

I am tangled and bound, defenseless by all means.

I can not see, this is the end of me.

Their Voices are channeled. they run through my head.

Deafening all around me So I may hear only:

"You're pathetic,"

"You're Useless,"

"No one can save you, No one will, and no one wants to."

"It's better this way."

"You're Weak."

I can't feel my hands nor my feet.

My Illnesses Bind me.

My imagination consumes me.

My anxiety tortures me.

My depression Isolates me.

Panic attacks Drown me.