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She is a plant
Not just any plant
But the kind that, if you think she’s wilting
Just give her a little water and sun
She’ll sprout right back up
As if nothing had ever happened
As if she’s always been this upbeat ray of sunshine
As if her mind isn’t as dark and empty as an abandoned mine
She watches Circle K cups tumble down the streets
like reluctant tumble weed
Just tumbling along to wherever the wind goes
becoming things people just step on, or parts of nests for crows
She sees lost dogs in shelters
Immediately she sees herself in them
To her they’re human
To her they can feel as much as her
She lets out an inaudible whisper
To the dog who peers through the holes in the aluminum fence
“I know how you feel.”
“I already love you.”
She searches for music that will remind her of simpler times
back when she wasn’t scraping through nickels, pennies, and dimes
Anything that will make her feel something
but she can’t focus enough to soak in the words anymore
She’s constantly molting her shells
Each time only becoming half of the person she was
These are her hells
Each day is a different one
She feels herself changing for the worse
She fears that there’s no stopping it
It is what it is, she murmurs heavily under her breath
Feeling this much isn’t a blessing
Feeling this much is a curse