Walls

Trying to make sense of what happened last night

Facades are often mistake for strength and those are the lessons I was taught to understand.

Whether it's a facade or not,

Strength is what you portray

Always

You hide those tears

You hide those scars

Heaven forbid someone knows those thoughts

Keep them to yourself, baby girl

No man will ever love you with those to see

She taught me they were something to fear

Those lessons became walls

"I can't get hurt behind these"

I kept everyone out

But I found people to climb them

It's in my best interest, they say, to let them in

But I rebuild

Every time I rebuild

Every time they are weaker

Every time I rebuild

She taught me to rebuild

"Other people have it worse, you have no reason"

Build

Build

Build

After building, after lying, after it all

I crawl to survive.

Pathetically, methodically, surviving

My heart breaks and I don't even feel it

Steady breathing

Steady smoking

Steady breathing

Nothing works

This stone they call a heart is my contractor is really good with walls

So I do what I know best

And I run

With four wheels

I run

Because maybe if they spin fast enough

Maybe if we go one mile more,

The walls

Will break

And I can finally discover what they are hiding.