Valiant

It’s not that I don’t want to be happy, it’s just forgetting how.

A numbing feeling has taken over my body for so long

it’s difficult to do things you don’t know how to do.

People tell me to try painting, yoga or meditation

But something like this needs help from a little medication.

They say, “you seem okay” But all I see are shades of grey

And to this day, I still don’t know why I feel this way, but I guess it’s okay not to have a reason for you don’t always need to know everything.

I’ll try to explain now that I’m scared ill fall, that ill fall over something I can’t control and when I fall people will notice my flaws, so I put up a wall to hide who I am, but my mind is broken for I am unspoken in a time where I have woken up to a society excluding things just because they don’t understand.

Things that should be talked about instead they’re being degraded and classified as inferiors to the world.

But they are no less than

Him

Her or you.

Someone breaks their leg and they are excused from daily activities

but living with a mental illness is a lifetime of broken legs in the comfort of your own home.

It’s your body aching day to day like old floorboards creaking over the years,

It’s 2 am showers,

It’s the constant worry,

It’s fighting every ounce of yourself just to have one bite of that burger.

They say to count sheep, but I still can not sleep,

And people this is real, and I know I’m on a spiel,

But things like this need to be said because a lot of people can’t go to bed,

for they are upset or overwrought.

Every night we’re by ourselves, in a field, on a tightrope strung high across the mountains being blasted at by arrows and bullets while some of us get hit and slip,

The seasons change, and everyone is happy except for you because in the winter you feel blue.

The rejoicing feeling leaves your body as soon as time changes,

The long days of darkness turn you into a hibernating bear,

And your bones crack like the sidewalk fractures

And it’s a cycle.

People again, this is a real thing. Mental health is real and it’s important.

It’s your cousin,

Your sister,

Your brother,

Your mom and your dad.

It’s the boy who says he’s always tired, and the person you know who’s “over-emotional.”

It’s the girl who just got fired and the man who just got a promotion.

It’s easy to hide things when they are advertised to stay hidden,

Just by a smile or a laugh makes everyone think you’re okay.

And that’s the problem.

And it’s not just the girls but boys too for they commit suicide at a higher rate,

But still, it’s put on debate that

Men don’t have feelings,

BUT THEY DO.

It’s time to change the way society thinks about mental illnesses,

For so long people are fearful to speak out and get help

And this is why that suicide is on the rise.

Mental illness is real, people need to be educated,

To know the effects and the steps of what to do when someone needs aid.

Don’t be so blind, we need to be redefined, and be kind to those who may be having a tough time, but you don’t really know who is having a hard time, so just be kind, to everyone.

-V. R