Urge

I thought about you today, I mean I actually had this new image if you pop up like

That jack-in-the-box you played with as a kid, but you might not remember because you never grew up.

As I was walked through the halls of pain stained memories and heart punches of mistakes I convinced myself that you were just a dazed past that I was never quite over

The more I thought about you and I or what you and I had I began to retreat to those negative emotions, feelings, and warnings and slowly found myself back down those corridors projected feelings of what could have been

Usually, when I think about you I would shake it off like the new fallen snow on a cashmere jacket and avoid it like not going home after missing curfew

Afraid of the punishment that awaits knowing you will soon have to face it

As I struggle to resist the urge to contact make contact in hopes I'm not the only one feeling like this because honestly if I do feel like this if you popped up in my mind it has to be the universe right, or the U and I verse finally ended

As I go deeper into this abyss regrettably finding myself back at square one, just when I finally got you out of my system

Out of those "whys" and "lonely nights" and "compromise decisions" that lead to doubtful situations and lending to the cancellation of the first amendment because you were just tried of hearing it, I'm tipping, it was just a friend, and the famous… who

See I could never understand how that something so free as love still has a price to pay

There were times I would question myself and become my own consultant because those close friends that I had withered away like the petals of a dried up rose crushed beneath the feet of agony and defeat

And I soon became a prisoner I would seep you.

I thought it was me most of the time that I wasn't good enough that maybe if I opened up a little bit more then you would finally see me for who I am.

I soon became the strings to your guitar moving to your best yet you had no rhythm but still the heart the wants what the mind doesn't want to understand

So as I sit and think and reflect on these things I tell myself to shift back into reality and go through another day of pain to sit and remember that these thoughts that I am having these emotions that I am feeling those false memories that try to trip me into believing

So the next time you see yourself thinking about him, or you think your weak and want to call tell yourself to resist the urge because the battle, in the end, is between love and fight. What will you choose I choose.

Choose Freedom