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I wish I could see land,

a silhouette of firm ground

breaking the horizon

I’m realizin’

the nuanced conversation

when I tell you “I’m sad,”

I’m glad you try

to empathize

by saying “me too.”

but that’s not the truth

I want with you.

I forget where you are,

though far,

I know I can get to you,

if I could find my damn paddles

to get over these waves

away from this space

of nothingness.

I don’t speak for anyone.

I speak for myself,

but how do I speak?

My tears

fill this boat,

stains my clothes,

I think about where my tears fall.

The mere sight

is a blight

I wish I could fly

‘cause there’s no one

out in space.

People don’t face

why I have tears

to try and get rid

of this pain

and its stains

all over my life.

I want to be here

I want to be alone

and not worry

where I am,

but friends are

where I am home.

It’s about time

you saw my eyes.

In water they die.

The light frightens

if you’re not ready,

but you never are.

I want to go to you,

but finding my paddles

means wading through my tears

so they don’t drown me.