Unspoken Words...

I loved you,

We lost ourselves,

You left,

I missed you,

You Died,

I still loved you,

Those unspoken words,

I forgive you,

I never stopped loving you,

The distance,

The silence,

The separation,

The emptiness,

Was my way of living,

To see you happy,

To see you forget me,

Was the hardest grief, To bear

The communication,

Your voice,

Your words,

That cut so deep,

When all i wanted was you,

For you to be by my side,

When i was Ill,

When i was Sad,

most of all

When i was HAPPY,

To be that happiness, once more

You worried about me,

You cared about me,

In my mind I placed you to the back,

Trying to be happy,

To learn the love i had for myself,

To heal the scars,

You etched on my skin,

To learn to breath,

Without your words breathing down on me,

To learn to feel

Without loving you

To understand,

Without your bitter words,

but most of all,

To find the women i lost, Whilst

Trying to fit in to a world not

fitted for me

Your silence,

Your death,

Your heart beating one more time,

Your eyes, that smile

Without saying Goodbye,

The worse kind of silence

Caused a storm inside me

The anger,

The frustration,

The heartache,

The sadness,

Attaching itself to the corners of my heart

Not being able to breath,

Not allowing myself to feel,

For the fear it will destroy me.

That the twister building from the core

will sweep through my soul,

engulfing all that is love,

and beauty there,

and leaving me destroyed on the ground,

a crumbled mess, A bitter taste

That silence, The distance

Moving on, wasn’t that the point

Death, destruction, grief

Destroyed that,

Never saying goodbye,

Never celebrating your life,

Never celebrating the person i new,

The existent, where we once

Laughed,

Loved,

argued,

Protected,

Absorbed each others

goofy natures,

four years cut from your life

As if what we had, Was disposable

Disposable to those

who didn’t understand,

but not to me.

Your happiness,

Your life,

Is all i wanted for you

To love, to be loved

To be the Man i new you where

With or without me

Two Days, Forty Eight Hours

And two thousand eight hundred and eighty seconds

The countdown

Your deathbed

Your last breaths

Your last moments

Waiting…

endless waiting,

for that phone call,

that text message,

confirmation…

My last words never said

Just sitting, Just waiting

Not knowing,

silencing my words

My feelings,

To please those around you.

Not expressing, Not using my words

To tell you ‘ That I love you’

and ‘i Forgive you’

Not to say goodbye, But till next time.

But now,

I need to say Goodbye,

I need to love you, to remember you

To love those moments we had,

To forgive the hurt we caused

Though not letting go,

but loving each other,

Your heart is part of mine

and mine is part of yours,

Till my last breath, I will love you

and I thank you

For loving all of me,

For that brief moment, In your life.

Now Breathe....