Uncensored

Little blonde haired and blue eyed me,

thrived off of the experiences with family.

At a young age of three,

my memories began, so simply.

I recall my parents stressing the importance,

the occurrence of regular visits.

"You never know what could happen."

they would say with persistence.

So little me, so full of love and belief

would excitedly run to you.

Embracing you, hugging away any grief,

knowing that for a child, thats all I could do.

Even at a young age, I knew you weren't well.

That physically, you were weak.

And that eventually you'd be just a shell,

all the colors of your world leaving everything grey and bleak.

But as I grew older, I learned something even darker.

Information that would gnaw at me everyday.

Sometimes blood isn't thicker than water,

and sometimes that blood runs dry and that connection fades.

At 24 years of age, the realization came crashing

What was eating me alive, it was true.

You had a secret, you tried to hide, to deny, stashing

it away inside. But it broke out of you.

Now don't get me wrong,

I was no where close to guessing what exactly you were hiding.

But when I found out, you no longer belonged.

My love for you was already dying.

There was nothing you could say

because how would we know it to be true?

You've lied so much these days

you really can't blame us for not believing you.

My first feeling was anger.

Not even shock.

Because of the curious feeling, that sense of danger,

really I was just watching the clock.

I knew the distrust was there.

But I had no idea how truly repulsive your secrets were.

You tore apart your own family for a disgusting affair.

Are you happy with yourself and what you've made people endure?

The rage has subsided.

Though I will never forgive you.

This horrendous consequence is what you invited

And I hope the guilt forever burns inside you.