Tucked Away

I don’t need a house

I don’t need the perfect shuttered windows

I don’t need the sounds

Of the people passing by

I don’t need the artwork, all the dishes

All the furniture to try

Ask me why

I don’t need a flat

I don’t need the rent or nosy neighbors

I don’t need all that

Penthouse view and all that rot

I don’t need the stairs and all the roaches

The overwhelming smell of pot

Ask why not

Give me a room

Somewhere small and tucked away

A tiny space

For my mind to play

Somewhere I can be alone

When all the world is loud and crazy

Somewhere I can just exist

Without the pressure to be me

Light or dark, warm or cold

Someplace I won’t feel so old

And worn away

Like every day

I don’t need a life

To be always doing something

I can have the world

When I keep it all inside my head

Rich or poor, happy living

Or just wishing to be dead

My fantasy is up to me

When I’m alone and in my bed

And hey, screw anyone who thinks

That I can be some other guy

Some other shmuck who thinks

That he can have it all

I know my place, I toe the line

I tell myself that I’ll be fine

While wishing I could deal much better

Than I deal with things and better

Than I feel most days and better

That I’m real, most days I’m better

Than I realize but better

That I’m feeling better

Than the days I feel like shit; if better

Is what everybody wants, then better

Everybody gets, cuz better

Is what I pretend to be

And suddenly

Open the door, and I’m outside

Into a world that isn’t mine

Drive to a bar, and get a drink

Fake a smile, but sit and think

Of all the places I would rather be

Than here in this insanity

Finish the drink, and head on home

My head is fuzzy, stomach stone

My worth is gone, I’m all alone

Get in my house, get out the gun

Regular people all would run

But me, I sit, I wait, I look

I calculate the steps I took

Every step that led me here

I put the gun up to my ear

And set it down

Put it away

Another day

Give me a room

Somewhere small and tucked away

A tiny space

For my mind to play

Somewhere I can be alone

When all the world is loud and crazy

Somewhere I can just exist

Without the pressure to be me

Light or dark, warm or cold

Someplace I won’t feel so old

And worn away

Like every day