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I don't think I knew exactly what I wanted when I was 17.
But I knew for certain I wanted him when we met.
Average height and slender.
A tattoo on his arm and near his chest.
Light-skin, freckled face, and shoulder length dreads.
This man oozed sex appeal.
Yet I could see the potential danger in his dark beady eyes.
Just couldn't ignore the wetness seeping from between my thighs.
I should've kept my distance.
He was trouble.
I could sense it .
It was his mysterious nature that eventually drew me in.
Mischievous and charming.
Yet sexy and subtle .
The perfect combination of sin.
It never looked so good.
I even loved his scent.
When he didn't have a cigg in his mouth.
Not to mention I'd practically melt at the sound of his voice.
Smooth like butter.
He had me wrapped around his finger.
I was his.
And there was no other choice.
He exuded every quality a Scorpio withholds.
We looked damn good together.
Real relationship goals.
But here's the thing about it,
I was taken at the time
Kind of lived a split life.
Had a shorty in a different city.
But in my head . . . he was mine
Our connection was nothing more than sexual lust.
I never felt safe with him.
I knew he wasn't someone I could trust.
Just someone I could fuck.
That I knew would fuck me the way I like.
Sexing like wild rabbits,
Getting it in every day and every night.
The first man I'd ever truly been infatuated with.
I'd done things with him that I don't care to admit.
Taught me how to give fellatio.
Soon became a fucking pro.
Such an act gave me full control.
But the real power was his.
I was a slave to his desires and my body belonged to he.
So wrapped up in him.
I began to lose sight of me.
I simply couldn't get enough.
'Cause when he'd pull up in his Impala ,
I'd ride him till he'd bust a nut.
It was all about him when it came to making love.
No glove .
Don't know why I enjoyed our rendezvous so much when he could never make me cum.
Wouldn't even give me head!
No matter how hard I begged.
I remember one time he tried to put it in my butt.
Pushed him off me and cried "Boy stop! What the fuck!"
Don't do that shit again.
He was just like other men.
Only saw me as a piece of ass & didn't care who I was within.
Didn't take the time to discover,
That I'm far more than just a quick fix and an easy outlet to get his rocks off whenever he'd please.
Yet when in the presence of he .
I find myself on my knees.
Taking in his manhood effortlessly with ease.
Because that's all I was good for.
A submissive pleaser.
Free pussy at his leisure.
That's all I ever was
Changes started to occur as we both made shifts in our individual lives.
My feelings for him grew deeper.
As did our own secrets and lies.
He went out of town for business purposes so I chose to keep an open mind.
Waited for his arrival back home in the city.
Worked on getting my paper up and keeping my face pretty.
'Cause when he came back we were gonna make it an official commitment.
Told me he loved me the most.
Thought when he said it ,
He meant it.
I was stupid!
How could I have been so blind?
I couldn't believe my eyes when I seen the images online, of him and another woman.
But I didn't understand how that could be!
How'd he betray me for a bitch that looks just like ME?
YOU PIECE OF SHIT!
Why'd I have to find out that way?
You piece of shit.
Flooding pictures on Instagram every single day.
You piece of shit.
But can't answer my calls or even text me back!
I was hurt to the core.
How foolish of me to think I'd ever be more,
Than a late night fuck in the back seat of his whip.
Or a quick nut getting pounded doggy-style in his moms house over the bathroom sink.
What was I supposed to think?
How was I supposed to feel?
I know I had my share of wrong doings but I thought what we had was real.
Because he made me believe it.
Piece of shit.
Yes I was.
What did she have that I didn't ?
Does he tell her he loves her ?
How many times did he hit it ?
Does he hold her hand ?
Does he caress on her legs when they're riding down the freeway?
If it's games you wanna engage in,
It's about time I start to play
I let a few weeks go by and then I get a 2 am call.
"Wassup Shae buttah what you got going on?"
"Oh nothing just relaxing. Daddy what you got in mind?"
"I miss you so much. Can I get some of your time?"
I knew what was going on so I put down my phone
What the fuck does he want?
Can't he just leave me alone?
*picks up the phone
Ima call this nigga back.
Then go over to his crib looking and smelling like a snack.
He broke my heart,
But I loved him still and that's a fact.
So we get to his spot.
Both ready and hot.
Prepared to fuck all night,
But his energy was different.
And I could smell her on him.
Don't cry Shae.
Just fuck him real good and forget that he lied.
Make him cum so hard as if it's the last time.
Because it is the last time.
He had no love for me
I could see it in his eyes.
As he penetrated the depths of my temple,
I know it was a hard task to keep her off his mental.
Don't cry Shae.
Hold your tears until this act is over,
You'll be fine Shae.
Grip his dick so he cums quick.
Wiggled out of his sheets.
Now that my missions complete.
I went home feeling ashamed at what I had allowed myself to do.
Repeating to myself,
"Shae he never loved you."
He called me the next day at 2 am to have a recap of the other night.
I pressed ignored .
Then sent a text.
"I can't . I'm on my way to catch a flight"
I knew it puzzled him.
She just gone fuck me and leave?
Give me some good pussy then disappear off the scene?
See the thing about games is that it takes two or more to play.
So yes I fucked his brains out,
Then flew to Vegas the next day .