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Truman Syndrome

A Poem

I love that you love to be loved

A desperate desire you’ve got to search for

Sleep is for the weak

Dig deep and wander some streets to clear my mind, find inspiration

On the lookout for an escape

But somehow you find yourself in between

Where it’s too much and never enough

But I'm stubborn that much to still hold out

and I'll discover what it's been about, all along

Using my father's absence against me

To do their best to "protect" me

Fire the assistants in my system

You know I can’t listen

They wrote a prescription for it

Trying to teach patience to an ADHD patient, good luck with that one

Keep the know how on the low down

Because what goes around comes around

Pride myself in making a good impression, don't worry

I don’t intend to overstay my welcome

Hiding myself from a reality that I’m still unaware of, I'll take care of it

I'll position myself front and center

And run this show, under this orchestrated chaos

Are you supposed to provoke me?

Is that how this works?

That’s just the business to keep viewers interested

I’m trying to determine if I’m worth it

Because I'm that kind of person

I’d rather hear no than nothing at all

The only difference is, they're watching waiting for me to fall

I got a lot more than I bargained for

Persistent, that’s a good word

To describe my drive, my passion

To regain control rationally, make sense of it

I’m keeping up at own my pace, that’s my goal

Although my body and brain are never on the same page

Instability is a recipe for success, in this popularity contest

I love that you love to be loved

But I always eavesdrop on silence that’s too loud

I'm the the talk of the town!

I’m always down and yet somehow I always work around it

There’s something going on

Seems as if everyone knows something I don’t, I noticed

Purposely living this life like I'm under a microscope

Setting out for something bigger

in a desperate attempt to dig for something you won’t

It’s funny, though, how I know what you don’t think I know

They know me around here by name and face

I’ve always felt safe in this place

But as time went on

We’re wasting that time

Illustrating a picture perfect reality

Bring me back to familiarity

I thought I had it

When I was young and dumb, drugged

And vulnerability was cute

But I was fooled, confused

So I set out to find and face my truth

I have the power to capture, a way to make the time stand still

That's hard to part with

When it feels like it's already over before it even started, the starving artist said

It was fun while it lasted

When the right time comes

They all ask how you’re doing

But they don’t care about the details

To hear how you've failed

How I stood by and witnessed my own ship sail away

No one’s got the time

So we say hello, how are you, doing fine

Alright, alright

And in case I don't see you

“good afternoon good evening and good night”

Even with the little info at hand

You don’t know me that well

I’ll craft my story creatively

Turn that vision onto myself

Live to tell, or something like that

‘why are you so worried what people think?’ they ask

If i’m so insecure, a nervous wreck

Don’t write out the lyrics

Instead write a hefty check and make it out to the shrink

Who will make you think twice

While you ramble about your life

Somehow your feelings are justified

and they nod, anything I say

"You’re absolutely right”

Keep the know how on the low down

Because what goes around comes around

Then I blew it, I ruined it

My covers blown

All this time, I should've known

I think I’ve got a case of

Truman Syndrome

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