Trips in My Mind in the AM Ch. 4 + Ch. 5

The pain from my womb

Reminds me that there are things

Bigger than my love for you.

Though now I understand it was one-sided

This will be another lesson learned

And one that is needed too.

I caress my belly in circles until the skin moves

Wondering if I will ever create a being

And what kind of person they will be

And who.

As all of this is happening a smile slides onto my face

Pain is sometimes a gateway to a greater place.

(Brief: though Trips in my Mind in the AM was intended to be late night poems written when I can't sleep, this one was written first thing as I woke up instead. Due to the undrafted and raw words, I decided to include it in the same series).

This was also written 10 months before posting, because the word count was too small for Vocal to post it but hey. It's also wild how life turns out and how much healing can positively influence your life. Regardless, I like this poem so I'm still gonna upload it even though times have changed for the better.

Shout out to the person who inspired this poem. You're a g.

~~~

I've slowly been falling back into poetry these days and for the first time in around eight months true inspiration has struck. Here is chapter five of Trips in my Mind in the AM. Gotta love 3 AM thoughts.

**

A night filled with realisation

Escorted by

A duvet damp from my tears

And the fetus position

I have adopted over the years

When lonely.

Here we go again.

Music, artificially loud,

Bangs through my eardrums

In an effort to surge through my

b

o

d

y

And replace the aching existence

In my blood

With something more proud.

The lyrics open up a projected screen

Of events that have not been

Just to keep me feeling sane

And

D

R

REAM

I

N

G

On.

In the darkness of my room

I witness whisps of

Life with few

That has not bloomed

And must match my aching gasps

With silence

To accompany crying guitars

And my heart's broken tune.

But when I open my eyes

Against the silver of the room

And exists

Only myself and the moon

Numbness slithers into my understanding

And holds my hand

Until I get to

Tones and tunes of daylight.