Tried to Fix Things

And I tried to fix things, tried to make things right again, tried to make everything like the way it was, tried to make you love me again. But it’s impossible to do those things because you weren’t trying... you didn’t try to fix things, you didn’t try to make me laugh like you used to whenever we would fight, but you didn’t love me in the first place. So how can you love me again if there wasn’t a first time. I mean you said you loved me and that you were the luckiest guy ever. And only part of that was true. But now you’re gone and I’m nothing but blue. You left me in a million pieces and I wish I could hate you. But I can’t because when we promised each other that we would never lie, I kept my promise. I kept my part of the deal and to say that I hate you would be a lie and to say I wish you were dead would be a lie and to say that I regret ever being with you would be a damn lie. I could never lie to you because we promised each other that. But you lied and cheated and lied and I forgave you because when I said that I loved you I meant it and when I said that you were who I wanted to be with I meant that. But I was just a distraction and I am finally accepting that. Finally accepting that I can’t change how everything turned out and finally accepting that I am better without you and that I don’t need you by my side. I thought you were my best friend well I was wrong. I realized I only needed myself and I’m better this way. So thank you for all the tears and the bruised knuckles from punching walls and all the late night calls and all the times you said you would kill me and that you hated me because at the time I didn’t realize how bad I needed to hear you say that but now I’m thankful. Not for you but for your actions towards me because you made me the girl I am today and I am forever grateful to you for making me realize my worth.