Tracks

It would be so easy to jump...

Not even the effort of a jump;

I could simply glide into forever.

Our forever was short lived, wasn't it.

But it sure was everything.

By everything, I mean all consuming;

Where do you end and I begin?

Where does reality end

and mine begin,

and yours begin?

Can I find myself again in the abyss?;

The chaotic underground of passion;

The breathtaking

eighteen thousand story view

of

the clouds.

Breathtaking, here, means

you took my breath away.

It was exhilarating and then it was horrifying.

And it was never your fault, or mine, but

always ours.

They say a near-death experience brings

a new appreciation for the life we're in.

It brings a monotony, I think.

What suffocates me makes me feel alive,

and then it's gone.

What challenges me makes me feel

like dying.

Most days, Being is a challenge.

The effort of standing up threatens to

knock me over;

The effort of smiling at someone

makes me feel mocked.

I know better, they know better too.

We all know it's a mask.

When I smile at you, even when it's genuine,

the mask

comes

off

How dare you blow my cover.

Standing; smiling; breathing! is laborious

and my brain is notorious for making shit up

Only when you're involved, though.

Funny how it works that way.

I'm crazy for you, isn't that

supposed to be

amazing?

I don't even know

where I'm going with this.

I'm off the path of the original thought,

and it happens when I try to harness them.

My thoughts, that is.

They're too wild for me these days.

Can't be bound by pen and page.

It would be so easy to glide down into forever.

But

I've got too much to do.

Shit to clean up

before I go.

Relationships to mend

before I leave.

Bridges to burn, too; no need

to burden them

with people.

So many loose ends to tie up,

will I ever be ready?

Naw, I'll be here a while

Past my time

I'm sorry. You're welcome.

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