Toxic Fuel

The toxic fuel that keeps me going.

The need to succeed.

It’s not about jealousy.

It’s about proving my worth.

Showing that I have what it takes within my mind that is filled with self-doubt.

I strive to be unstoppable.

I strive to get my name out there and show I am not another pretty face in a room filled with whores.

I am unique.

I am myself.

I am the real stuff.

I have poetry in my veins.

I bleed words through my pen.

Blue ink on the paper.

Emotions on the surface.

This is my toxic fuel.

My toxic fuel is the truths I speak.

I have a talent for the written word and anyone who wishes to insult me and bury me underground needs to be put in their place.

I fight a war of words.

I will never hang myself in pity.

I will never change my style.

I am originally and not a copycat.

I will never hire a ghostwriter and put my name on books I paid for.

There are no rules in my poetry world.

Only write the truth and learn from what has already been written.

I push myself to find the right words to explain any given obstacle I have encountered.

The right words to share my trials and tribulations.

All the roadblocks that keep me from my destination are lessons I have learned in this life.

I will not let myself overthink my next move.

It’s all or nothing.

What you see is what you get with me.

I don’t hide behind a mask.

I let it all hang out.

If you are going to hate me do so because of who I am and not the fabricated version of me that you made up in your head to justify mistreating me and discrediting my words.

Hate me for who I am if you must hate me at all.

I am an open book filled with wisdom and misadventures.

I am a writer who does not hold back.

I love who I love.

I hate who I hate.

And I can justify my emotions quicker than you can come up with a new rumor about me.

I have learned that what people say about you says more about them as a person than it does about who they are speaking about.

I wish healing to those who feel the need to compete with me over things we both share.

We are much stronger if we stand up together than if we put toxic words out there against each other.

I have put my sword down.

I have moved on and hold my head high these days.

Jealousy is an ugly emotion.

Be happy with who you are and what you have.

There will always be someone better off than you or worse off than you.

Find peace with who you are and what you do.

Never stop improving yourself.

Never stop looking for the good things in people instead of the bad.

It takes more courage to build each other up than it does to tear each other down.

To stop this toxic fuel, one must first learn to love and accept the diversity of other souls in the same boat.

*This poem is featured in my upcoming book "Peeling Sanity"

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