Torment

For most, sleeping is a time of relaxation and utter bliss. For me, it's a terrifying way of reminding me, that I have to face my inevitable, iniquity of a psyche. Every night, I try to do everything in my power to prevent the dark thoughts that bombard my sleeping mind. But, every time, I'm left incapacitated by the torment that always finds me. Constantly, I ask myself, is this my latent intellect showing me who I truly am? How can someone of my empathetic nature, be capable of thinking such horrid things? Or are they truly just mind games being inflicted upon me? Honestly. They make me question my own sanity; am I really even here? Or am I just perceiving my existence on this existential plane? Is it past traumas, that force me to foresee every possible negative outcome? Is it my subconscious mind's way of forcing me to survive? In these dreams, I see the darkest parts of myself, and others that I encounter; and when I tell others of these dreams, they tell me I hold all of the power, and only I can choose what happens in my dreams. But still, every night, I find myself powerless, in these multi dimensional horrors you like to call dreams.