To the people, who called me fat
Who called me ugly
Who told me to kill myself because nobody would miss me
Who said this to a girl in the 5th grade
Who didn't know what they had done
To the people who kick-started my mental illness before I even knew what mental illness was
To the people I starved myself for
Wore makeup for
To the people I sucked my stomach in for
The people who started rumors about me
That I was 13 having sex
With men much older than me
To the people who kick-started my self-harm
My self-hatred
Who made those pills go down so easily
To the people who hurt someone they didn't know could do it
To the people who chose me
Over the more broken people
To the people who thought it was funny
To call me fat
And ugly
A whore
And worthless
All before the age of 18
All before I had even kissed a boy
Or hugged a boy
Before I even touched a boy
To the people who think "thicc" is now sexy
Who say makeup is life
Who think being promiscuous is fun
To the people who think feeling worthless is trendy
You don't know what you did
You don't know how you hurt me
How those words made someone truly happy with life
Die.
How a new creature rose from her ashes
A cold creature
Someone who would never fully love
Who would never let her guard down again
To the people who drink and smoke for fun
To the people who don't have to worry about getting addicted.
To the people who can love freely
Who can be themselves
To the people who weren't given a death sentence when diagnosed with a mental illness
To the people who feel sad but can go right back to their normal self
To the people who made me put my guard down
Who made me believe love was real
Who hurt me beyond repair
Who turned me back into a cold being
To the man who hurt me
To the man who broke my heart before anyone else
To the man who gave me all these issues
To the guy
Who used me
Who read me
Who made me believe I was wanted
Because you needed someone "barely legal"
To the guy who didn't know I was a virgin
Who gave me alcohol and put on my favorite movie
Who made me trust him
To the guy after him
To the guy who I first fell in love with
To the guy who fell for my best friend
To the guy who thinks I'm Satan
To the dude from the city
Who thinks he can use me
When he's sad
Or lonely
Or when life is just a tad too hard
To the dude who thinks he still has me
To the dude who wants me when it's convenient
To the guy I love
To the guy who deals with me when I'm acting crazy
To the guy who has always been there
To the guy that makes me smile
Who makes me cry also
Who can turn everything around
Who has an intoxicating smile
And a contagious laugh
Who has had me since the first time we kissed
To the guy who I've treated like crap because I tried to deny my feelings
To my best friend
To the girl who has my heart before any guy
To the girl who has saved my life
To the girl who appeared magically
Who means more to me than she'll every know
To the girl who I hope will be successful
To the girl I thought was my best friend
To the girl I grew up with
Who uses me when she's lonely
To the girl who plays the victim
To the girl writing this
To the girl that never grieves
To the girl who starved herself
Who wore makeup
Who feels worthless
Who uses sex as a way to make herself feel worse
To the girl who is finally opening up more
Who is trying very hard to be trusting of others
To the girl who's let her mental illness get the better of her
To the girl who loves more than she cares to admit.
To the girl holding back tears.
To you.
About the Creator
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