To the Old You

i've got

a belly full of happy pills

and

a mind full of sad thoughts

so

why the hell not lay my head

in the place where your neck meets your shoulder

and wish, but only for a moment,

that i belonged there?

you got so still, the playful fight

lost and gone in a flash

as i breathed in the heavy, spicy scent

of you, and held it in till

my lungs were soaked in it.

it's funny how badly i want what I can't,

but then again,

maybe it's just a hard time.

you called me a "ten-outta-ten" in your fast car,

and i tried so hard not to let myself,

but in that split second

it felt okay

to nestle a tiny bit closer

and feel you stop, then start again.

i thrive on stolen moments.

and no, of course, i can never

show or tell you,

but maybe, in that breath,

i wished i could start all over with you.