I needed you like lungs need oxygen to breathe
But when I was on life support you just couldn’t pull the plug
You were the best disguise of love
The greatest example of hurt
The very definition of toxic
You really should consider being a musician
The way you pluck my heart strings like a broken harp
We’ve made many symphonies together
Which is why trying to make make music without you is difficult
But I’ve learned to manage
We never got those matching tattoos, but my memories of you are permanent
As my mind goes back to a 11 year old me and 13 year old you
In the corner of the clubhouse our church used to be in
Your quietness was what drew me in
I remember how for a year my journal became your biography
noting every time you spoke to me to the day you asked me to be your girlfriend
I immediately changed my myspace name to “IFINALLYHAVEABOYFREINDYALL”
So proud to hold the title of your girlfriend in my heart
Who knew it would hold so much weight
You were the boy who cried I’m sorry
You said it so much the word no longer holds any currency to me
The greatest love gesture you made to me was changing the bands of your braces brackets to purple
But the only gift I ever wanted from you was your presence
For 7 years we played tug of war for my love and I was tired of letting you win
My heart couldn’t hold the weight anymore
My feet grew weak from chasing after you
I thought I would die without you… it’s been four years
Yet each day I wake up amazed
At how effortlessly oxygen fills up my lungs
My chest rises and falls
My heart stays in tune…
About the Creator
Kayla Phillip
New York living, mocha iced coffee sipping, student of life, creator of highly melanated.
IG:@kaylamelanated
Blog: www.kaylaphillip.blog
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