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To the Boy I Loved Before

A Poem

By Kayla PhillipPublished 5 years ago 2 min read
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I needed you like lungs need oxygen to breathe

But when I was on life support you just couldn’t pull the plug

You were the best disguise of love

The greatest example of hurt

The very definition of toxic

You really should consider being a musician

The way you pluck my heart strings like a broken harp

We’ve made many symphonies together

Which is why trying to make make music without you is difficult

But I’ve learned to manage

We never got those matching tattoos, but my memories of you are permanent

As my mind goes back to a 11 year old me and 13 year old you

In the corner of the clubhouse our church used to be in

Your quietness was what drew me in

I remember how for a year my journal became your biography

noting every time you spoke to me to the day you asked me to be your girlfriend

I immediately changed my myspace name to “IFINALLYHAVEABOYFREINDYALL”

So proud to hold the title of your girlfriend in my heart

Who knew it would hold so much weight

You were the boy who cried I’m sorry

You said it so much the word no longer holds any currency to me

The greatest love gesture you made to me was changing the bands of your braces brackets to purple

But the only gift I ever wanted from you was your presence

For 7 years we played tug of war for my love and I was tired of letting you win

My heart couldn’t hold the weight anymore

My feet grew weak from chasing after you

I thought I would die without you… it’s been four years

Yet each day I wake up amazed

At how effortlessly oxygen fills up my lungs

My chest rises and falls

My heart stays in tune…

love poems
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About the Creator

Kayla Phillip

New York living, mocha iced coffee sipping, student of life, creator of highly melanated.

IG:@kaylamelanated

Blog: www.kaylaphillip.blog

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