To Someone

I talk to you out loud

when you can't hear

it's out of self preservation

I tumble out truths

in staccato bursts

so if you want to run

you'll do it quick

and not when we're concomitant

Because I'm not up for guessing

but I'm not up for being alone

So I plunge headfirst

before I have a chance to flounder

I'll do that later

so insomnia hits

so I'm awoken by panic attacks

by my gut's in my throat

and my throat in my head

eyes wide and untired

Desperate for nothing

I rethink what I can remember

which isn't much

which isn't much

I am gravitation

I am apologies

I want to be satisfaction

I want to be like silk

like a sigh

I am a breath caught in the chest

too full to breathe again

I am a semicolon

but the scars are on the inside

I am branded

thick, raised and angry

I only want you to be

MINE

Like a wolf

But I am tail between my legs

ears back and

snarling at my own reflection

snapping at the sound of my own voice

what I mean to say is

I hate me

but I want someone to love me

to do what I can't do

to be the lap I curl up in

to the the hand

on the small of my back

the teeth on my skin

the voice in my ear

telling me I belong

to someone