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Tired

So very, very tired.

I'm tired. Really, really tired. Of this world, of today's trends and of pointlessly seeking for approval from people I've never even met before.

I'm tired of clickbait articles that give nothing but a dead punchline with no real information. I'm tired of being sucked into something not to be entertained, but to be somebody's cash cow from the other side of the world.

I'm tired of finances. I'm tired of looking at decreasing figures rather than hoping for positive ones. Tired of spending more than I can afford just to see myself through to tomorrow.

I'm tired of wasting more time worrying about life than actually going out there and enjoying it. Tired of feeling like it's probably not even worth it these days.

I'm sick to the core of the throbbing in my head and the needles in my chest repeatedly scrutinising me for everything I do. I'm tired of thinking whatever I consider might just be the thing that tips me over the edge.

I'm tired of living in a glass-half-empty world. Tired of scraping the barrel and wishing I had something to replenish my cup.

I'm fed up of social antics and tween trends that make no physical sense. I'm tired of looking down on our generation slowly becoming the breathing rendition of idiocy.

I'm tired of being told my writing will never amount to anything and is nothing more than a pipe dream that is too far to reach out for and grasp.

I'm tired of wishing I was better at things, but losing the confidence to go out and prove myself wrong. Tired of having that mental block that would rather see me fail and crumble than rise and succeed.

I'm tired of feeling insecure and overweight. Tired of trying to better myself, but never reaching a desired end goal. Tired of never feeling hungry, but always gaining an imaginary weight.

I'm tired of running from things that bring me down. I'm also tired of staying put and trying to deal with them as they come, too. I'm tired of remaining idle. I'm tired of finding an alternative route.

I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of writing. I'm tired of losing a battle that I feel ended a long time ago. I'm tired of contemplating picking up the courage to fight once more.

I'm tired of spending countless years learning. I'm tired of hearing that, despite my newfound qualifications and achievements, it's still not quite enough to meet the criteria.

I'm tired of commitments. I'm tired of black and white. I'm tired of the same old failure. I'm tired of resentment.

I'm tired. There's nothing more I can say.

I need sleep.

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