Time

Maybe I was scared of how you started to look at me,

How you looked to expect more of me,

Like I wasn’t who you imagined I’d be,

When I was really all over the place.

It’s not who I was, who I couldn’t explain.

It’s not that I wasn’t interested,

But I really didn’t know it all—

How I felt, how to feel, or have it manifested.

I didn’t know what to think,

Or what exactly to say,

I knew that it would all come,

Crashing down one day.

But one thing I knew I had to do,

Was walk away.

Then the time elapsed,

into another day.

Maybe I was looking for someone to pass time,

I ignored all that I was and all of mine.

I almost gave it all away,

But questions instead filled my brain.

I trusted too early, didn’t know better,

It felt like trying to force the weather.

It wasn’t right, but I tried to see,

If all of it was wrong, maybe just me.

But one thing I found in all those times,

Was how to get back what was mine.

My soul, body, and peace of mind,

What I tried to look for but couldn’t find.

And it’s not in some boy I settled for less,

It’s not in this heart that was so careless.

It’s not in some empty caress,

But it’s in me myself, nonetheless.