three selfish wishes
three selfish wishes is all i need
first, i wish to see what others see
everyone says i look beautiful
pretty
adorable
i remember when i replied back to my great aunt a "no", she had gotten upset and just told me "just say, 'okay aunt fran'"
which frustrated me.
my reply to a comment about MY body shouldn't have to dial down to an "ok"
i am not a recorded messaging system
second
i wish to be a healthy weight...
i look in the mirror, the fat on my arms and have the desire to treat my skin like playdough and pull it off bit by bit
i lay on my back in bed and see what my stomach could look like if i didn't binge eat or not eat at all
my legs stay stuck together sliding against each other that the denim of my jeans can be heard a mile away
my fat fingers that make my friends' hands look so small
third
i wish for someone to love the mess that i am
but they need to understand that there are moments when messes needed to be cleaned up by the host
i want to feel arms around my torso and a gentle squeeze and kiss goodnight.
i just want...someone who will drop what they're doing and take a second to look me dead in the eyes and tell me that i'm not okay
i want someone to know the little things about me...
three selfish wishes
that's all i ask
About the Creator
Shaelyn Terry
Just a poet and a writer trying to put down in words what's going on through my mind
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