Thought to Failure

She’s finally learned how to control her mental health or at least that’s what she tells herself when she feels happy that she got the help but something is missing that puts her confidence on the shelf

Because of all the set backs, panic attacks, thank you for that’s, she hasn’t proceeded fast because she was too busy fighting her past

It’s like the clock stopped and the dust started to gather as her friends and foes went on to do things that matter

Degrees and homes and families that stay together, she’s never felt more alone watching her own endeavor end in her

She gained a little weight, acne on her face, online she seems to be doing great, but even when every thing is okay it’s still not what it could of been and it gets harder to put up such fake-ness

But, she made this

Her mind traded bliss for settling for a miss

She’ll never get a hit because the darkness is too strong

The anxiety lasts too long

She screams “everything inside of me is wrong”

As she looks in the mirror she does what’s been far too prolonged

Starts with the skin, tears it off her face

No identification as she burns her fingertips to their fate

Cuts to her heart within, blood gushing in her way

Let’s stop the heart from pumping, it always felt like it was too late anyways

Guts spill out behind

Liver and lungs don’t look fine

But she is fine,

she is

Empty inside with no accomplishments