This Is Me

Again.

I’ve let you win. Coming into my heart please don’t break it again. Every child needs their mom but where was mine? Lost to morphine or I guess another fucking line. I wish I knew what made you this way because maybe-

Again.

I could beg you to stay. I could ask you to live. To just raise your kids or not to have us at all. Fuck. Where do I begin? You have embarrassed me once. You’ve embarrassed me twice. I don’t even want to claim you as mine.

Again.

I’ve lost another figure whom I’ve held close. Even though you’re the one I should hate the most. My heart wants to forgive but my mind never forgets. All the fucked up stupid shit that you did. You’ve wished me unborn. Countless of times. You have said, “I fucking hate that you’re mine.” But I know that you’re sick even though I struggle with it. Fuck. Now you got me thinking-

Again.

You won’t meet my kids or watch me grow old. You did the dumbest shit that’s made me so cold. I want to forgive and love who you are but you always manage to tear me apart. You’ve made my demons that I’ve tried to defeat. Every day they are a struggle to beat. And—

Again.

Here I am by your side. Sending you off high on your ultimate high. You go out the same way you came in. High on morphine or what was it again?